I think in black
I hope you are regretting me
now that I get to be everywhere
yet I’m just an orphan
alone against the world
you’d like to think
I’m just laying low
in the background
hoping someone notices me, yet I’m
not allowing anyone to see me
leaving everything unspoken
burying myself
my liver is aching
my bottle is never empty
I don’t want to sober up
grow up
I just don’t want to give up
I thought I was a soldier but
I might be the whole army
I pick up where you leave
I’m not a loser
I’m watching the sky getting darker
sitting in a room too small
for my dreams
I am pushing everyone away
I’m wrestling with my mind
holding my thoughts
as if they were candles
to light up my broken path
I’m holding on to my memories
as if they were the only life I had
you act like I owe you kindness
like I should commit but
I can’t be told what to be
what to do, who to chase down
I don’t want all the small things
I’m thinking back
I hope you are missing me now
that I don’t miss you
that much
I don’t want to be left alone
yet I don’t want anyone
near me
I don’t need you
yet