do you think I’m wrong?
about myself?
I think
I’m not the nicest person to know
I’m an asshole, in my own way
I’m selfish and hedonistic
I’m careless, and just because
I’m being nice to you
it doesn’t mean I’m this way with everyone.
I’ve been called strange
quirky, neurodivergent
maybe you believe I’m straight out
psycho
I’m full of shit, and negativity
I’m not depressed or anything
maybe I’m just a bit broken
but don’t think small of myself
I’m just allowing a part of me to sink into darkness
to make another one shine
bright
I am just letting most things go
just to hold tight onto the few I care about
most people simply do not exist for me
as I only exist for a restricted number of them
and the same goes for trust
even if my favorite word is ‘disentanglement’
I still get stuck on things
on people
I’m a contradiction
a disaster under damage control
I send random texts to strangers
in the middle of the night
afraid to scare them away while
still wanting to know them
a word more